Meet “that person,” the one whose behavior, both past and present, is eating away at my soul. My mind returns to “that person” again and again, in the shower, in the middle of the night, when I am driving somewhere dull. How could he—why did he—I can’t believe he would—why don’t I just tell him—and so on. ”That person” always comes back, mentally. That’s how I know that my zombie heart has taken over. “That person” has bitten me, has brought the dark heart to life. “That person” is the walking dead.
how do u simultaneously believe in the friendzone and in fake geek girls rhetorics. how do you believe both that women only date “jerks” and give “nice guys” the cold shoulder and also believe that they devote tons of their time money and energy into dressing up like cartoon characters and attending conventions and feigning interest in “geeky” things to “trick” shitty entitled nerdlords like you into dating them
isn’t it the fucking worst when you can feel a zit forming under the surface of yr skin? like it’s tingling and screaming at you “HA HA HA NOTHING YOU CAN DO NOW!” guh. anyone have any remedies?
Kathleen Hanna, Bust, 1999.
with flowers falling from their skin
more water in their eyes
more tremble in their hands
more women in their hearts
on their bodies
more softness in their height
more honesty in their voice
more humility in their eyes.” —real men, nayyirah waheed
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.” —
i’m gonna cherrypick from this to my own satisfaction because i can recognize good ideas when i see them but i also won’t let no one tell me what to do!